Santa, i wanna good computer sos I can play like Zig.

Lets say I would love to have the best of everything, within budgetary limits. Most likely I will have 1,000 or less to spend on getting two systems together.
One will have to be an older kind of desktop PC that has a floppy drive on serial bus. Don't bother asking why- I need it. Other than the floppy consideration, Intel is preferred.
The other system: I would LOVE to have a laptop so I'm not chained to a desk. The laptop can be anything at all that fits into the budget and leaves enough to get a wireless router and some USB SATA HD enclosures so I can use the old drives as backups and whatnot.
I'm not talking about the OS at this point.